S*mmy

I am so excited about getting a set of braces! So, today I went for a specialist consultation at Dental Clinic in Khoo Teck Puat Hospital and had my first session with the dentist and surgeon. Dr Lim the dentist examined my teeth and told me that I am the perfect candidate for putting braces because I have protruding upper teeth and overcrowding lower teeth. She assigned me to do an Xray to determine how many teeth I have to extract.

After the Xray, she called me in and discussed with me about the extraction. In conclusion, I need to extract a total of 8 teeth! 4 in which are wisdom teeth, 3 other teeth and 1 baby tooth in order to make space for shifting the teeth in place. She estimated the total cost I will need to pay including consultation, treatment, putting on braces and stuff like that. Estimated cost: $3988! Then she referred me to the surgeon in charge of extracting my teeth. Oh wait, but before that, she took a mould sample of my teeth (upper and lower), then took some photographs of my Before teeth for research sake.

Dr Chow is in charge of extraction of teeth, so again we sat down and discussed about the cost. For a private rate, the operation itself costs $1.7k!!!!! And adding on the 8 teeth which cost $36/++ each, it sums up to the amount of $2.9k. Holy shit! That’s the price to pay for having a perfect teeth! (like literally)

So let me do a final estimation. $3988 + $2900 = $6888! So this is probably the amount I have to pay for the 2.5 years of braces. Thank God, I do not have to pay all at one go. It’s dependent on the treatment or procedure I am doing that very day.

Wish me luck! I have been thinking about this since I was 12. It’s been 8 years and it is a dream come true. I was grinning away during my visit. I wanted it soooo badly.

Ugh why am I such a crybaby? I should probably get myself some sleeping pills so that I can fall asleep early at night. I am having a few days’ off and I watch shows online. If you don’t know me, I an absolute hopeless romantic. I cry easily. I cry to any touching scene. It could be a comedy, action pack, anything, whatever. As long as they is touching/couple/cute/sweet/heartbreaking scene, I will cry.

This is such annoying characteristics of me but there’s really nothing I can do about it. I didn’t cry deliberately. I didn’t choose to do it. It just struck me and boom, I’m crying. Pretty annoying because people thinks that I am childish. Well, can’t deny that I AM childish, lol.

No one is perfect. No one feels perfect about themselves. I know people have been telling me that I am just another normal person, and that I do not need to change anything about myself. But, I can’t stop feeling that way! I am always thinking that people are smarter than me, prettier than me, leads better life than I do, skinnier than me, has stress-free life, richer etc. I cannot stop feeling pressurized about all these things! Then at the end of the day, I start blaming the people around me who made me feel this way.

I mean, omg, HOW TO EVER FEEL NOT DUMBBBBBB? HOW TO NOT FEEL UGLY?!!!!!11 #OHGODWHY

So, I have started my mini workout with few combinations targeted on my arms, tummy, my thighs and most importantly my butt. I’m not very sure how long I can continue this body image obsession because I’m always giving up halfway. Let’s just cross our fingers and pray very super extremely hard that I can maintain this at least till majority’s satisfaction.

But one thing for sure is that I’m not giving YET because just today, a colleague of mine commented me on being fat when I joked around and pretended to sit on her lap as sofa.

To top it off this motivation, I’ve downloaded a file titled “Skinny file!!!!!!” on my laptop and combined all the skinny girls into a picture and set as my desktop wallpaper. I hope all these can motivate me to becoming skinner and also more muscular. I wi be continuing to track my body measurements down. And once I my running shoes back from bf’s house, I’m going to start my jog then start tracking my weight as well. Good luck to me!

I used to think that he was my true love. I thought he loved me and nobody will ever do the same again.

Until I met Winston. It was not the first day I experienced love. But it’s after being in a shitty rebound relationship for 4 months with him, then the love spiked.

What does my true love mean? My definition is that despite complaining and being pissed with my immaturity, Winston never failed trying to do the best he can, in order to please me.

We are only together for 6 months but I felt as if it’s 2 years.

For every relationship I hope they will be the last, and this time is no exception. I will cherish and won’t let go of W, because not many people will wake up earlier to make breakfast for their partner. (And I’m not talking about the initial few months or the honeymoon period.)

Hoookay everybody. I have an announcement to make. After skiving, having fun, playing, lazing for so many months, I, am, finally going to start work tomorrow. By work I mean a real job, like a full time job. And I will officially be a working adult tomorrow! ): How scary is that!

So I really hope, tomorrow will be a good start and I also hope the world will be kind to me. Because just so you know, I DID NOT choose nursing as my poly course. But now, I CHOSE IT! I fucking chose it and I fucking want to make a difference in people’s life so YOU MOTHERFUCKERS BETTER APPRECIATE WHAT WE NURSES DID/DO FOR YOU, UNDERSTOOD!??!!

Kay, off to bed now.

Xmas is around the corner and I am all psyched up for it! I have always loved Xmas. I love the lights everywhere. I love the colours; red, green, golden, silver. I love the songs played on musical boxes. I love cracking my brains for presents. I love choosing presents for my love ones. I love wrapping of presents. I love unwrapping of presents. And I love surprises! Last but not least, I love Jesus for being born on this particular special day.

So far this Xmas’s present exchanging wasn’t so great because I thought I can give the presents on Xmas. I had to give them early because I am not sure if I am even getting an off from work.

So far I have given 2, both I didn’t have time to wrap or write a card. I gave Bernice a Muppet themed O.P.I. nail polish and Celia a gift bag that consisted of body lotion, body gel etc. from Crabtree & Evelyn. My 3rd gift, will be perfume for Winston because his perfume is running out. Kinda disappointed because he found out that my bank balance was only a few hundred, so he came up with this idea. THEREFORE, THIS PRESENT ISN’T ANY SURPRISE ANYMOREEEE! ): How boring! However, I strongly believe that it’s the thought that counts. This Xmas I may not give the best present, but there are still more opportunities! I still have birthday, V day, our 1 year to buy presents for him! 

I am just looking forward for my present from him. Pleeeeeeeeease please please be a good one, and very importantly: Something that I WILL use.

Pimple face, that’s me right now.

I have been having those deep set pimples for like a couple of weeks already and it’s soooooooo frustrating! You can see it, it’s red, it’s painful even when touched gently and the WORST part is that you can’t squeeze it out, AND AND AND, IT WON’T GO AWAYYY!

Urgh!

Ugh so hungry I can feel every sector of my stomach churning.

Ought to get some sleep now cuz it’s 4:11am and I have promised Winston to sleep at 11pm!!! Definitely gonna get either scolding or silent treatment from him later.

Haven’t been on Tumblr for quite some time because I’ve been pretty busy with other things.

So, Valentine’s Day is coming and I really really can’t wait to spend it with my boyfriend. Not that we’re going for a date, outing or dining, hah but why am I so looking forward to it? I don’t really expect us to celebrate though, it’s fucking overrated. I want everyday to be sweet and romantic, not just on the 14th Feb. We planned to catch a midnight movie and maybe just eat 煮炒 on the Sunday. This poor boy has a full day school on Monday, that is why we can’t do it on the actual day.

You know, ever since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, I have been thinking a lot. I reflected on myself and asked what was wrong that our relationship couldn’t last long. And I guess I’ve found the answer. I don’t blame him for neglecting me, for showering too much time and love on his friends and for being a mommy’s boy. Neither do I blame him for smoking, coming home late and putting bets on soccer & lotteries. I just blame myself for being stupid, for being childish and always controlling his behaviour like a mum, throwing tantrums easily and quarrel with him.

It was a learning experience for me. Now that I’m with my current boyfriend, I changed my past behaviours. I don’t control but more of advise. I tried not to be childish (in his pov) and also discussed with him on what I can do to be a better girlfriend. I am also open to feedbacks and he can feel free to tell me what not to do in order to avoid pissing him off. The most important thing I’ve learnt now is to not expect too much from him. Never expect your boyfriend to do anything for you because once the expectation failed to meet, you’re going to end up getting hurt and unhappy with the fact that your boyfriend is not what you expected him to be. It is definitely going to end up with a quarrel.

I can say I am happy now because I totally don’t expect anything from him. I get unexpected surprises like him getting me a small present, him telling me how much he misses me, a night phone call with him, a come-from-behind hug and a kiss. (:

I’ve prepared a present and a card for the boyfriend and I CANNOT wait to give him, cuz I have put in a lot of effort in it. I hope he likes it. Btw I will be staying over at his house on Saturday because my mum is flying to Taiwan! However I have a huge worry: I am afraid of letting him see me without makeup.